The Power of Love

I am so very amazed with what love could do. It could either make a person smile 12/2 or cause a person to grieve. It could make you fly high or knock you hard to the ground. We never know that we have exceeded our limit when we are in love. Love gives life and it may kill. Nothing is impossible in the name of LOVE. Love is so powerful. It is a very driving force. Love recognizes no failure. That is the ultimate power of love...

Hello Sunday and 

have a blessed sunday 

brothers and sisters!!

God bless you!!

this what i called "FAMILY"

Last weekend ,i spent the whole of my holiday's time with my new sisters...so called my 2nd family.. thru this whole night.. i'm just can't stop thinking about  them... My weekend is sucks here without them..i guess sarikei is my heaven of all after i met u guys..hahaha.I miss you guys.hopefully u guys doing fine there.My alcholic family...here our pic's..i cant stop my smiling  when seeing this kind of pic's.So ,this is my family...with black singlet & body kecik2 one is my lil sister (BB).My youngest of all.I just saw myself thru her.. her behaviours,attitude.. Hahahaha..and what the funniest thing ever...she always shown her "not satisfied " face to me when we gambling with cards.. U won sis..Dont worry.I'm surrender .haha.and thanks for the milo's .Next time..buat lagi okay.hehe.The one wearing spec with hair style ala2 rihanna is...my big sister(Kakak Flo)....always guide me thru the darkness In Pathology lab  Sarikei.i just don't know how to thank her .Just that...i promise i will do the  best to achieve the goal in the end of this semester.Wish me a good Luck kakak.:) You are the great person kakak!!"your majesty,thou art great,accept this humble offering"... The one standing beside me is..bonzer ..i dont know what actually her name is.May I...just stats ur name as Bonzer?any rejection on that??hehe.by the way nice to know u bonzer.I'm having a great time "drunk" with u..sorry ...throwing ur smurf that day...And the one..with backside body facing  my camera is my tyco(Kak Pus).My second big sister i guess.When i was in secondary school... i heard much about her...She's popular with ...such gangsterism events.. Don't mees with her or else..u will get trouble..ada berani?hahaha..oo my gosh..i'm salute you for sure since primary school :).U r my tyco and my super senior..I can't written much here actually..And the one using blue collar shirt is my cousin "Engkeng".one glass of chivas can represent "much +++ of sexy dance.Ur dance is up-2-date cuzzy.Amazing grace!!well..perhap this is the end of my story for tonight.

23..

23 is not just a pair of number. Hitting 23 makes me feel much more learned. For the past 22 years, a thousand and one eventful feat has impacted my life significantly. The bittersweet life-enhancing experiences have made my life so colourful. I am now transforming into a girl. A girl who everyone will find reliable, I pray.
I am still very young though. What lies ahead of me is still very mysteriously kept. However, I would not trouble my mind by inquisitively digging for what tomorrow has to offer. I will walk this interesting journey of life with courage, passion and patience.
I feel very much honoured and appreciated. Even before January 11, I have been attending advanced birthday dinners continuously beginning January 6th. In fact, I have been receiving precious birthday gifts since last December. Thanks a million. Thanks everyone for the thumbs-up effort. I am very touched!!!
Guess I have more than enough 23th birthday cakesssss... I have been well-fed too. Every dinner + a birthday lunch are so lovely!! Thanks for the effort to make my day special. I could not ask for a better celebration.
I too have been occupied with replying smses and birthday wishes on facebook and email. Feel so overwhelmed by the heart-warming birthday wishes. Thanks. Thank you very much everyone!!!!

and the last one...i'm going to give u my middle fucking hand!! don't mess with me..

and another one.....

lately.....re-refreshing my mind!

Untitled poem

This poem is written from the bottom of my broken heart. It is written to a friend. I am not entirely sure whether we are friends still. It is in fact hard to maintain a friendship without much obstacles. Maybe this is our destiny. Maybe we have reached the end. And if this is how it ends, indeed it is a tragic ending. I don't want to wave you goodbye yet but seemingly, you are drifting yourself miles apart. I hope that you got to read this because this poem is written to you, to only you!

I was with you throughout the battering heat of the sun,

Maybe was not long enough to make it with you through the drought,

Now that you have others to survive the draught with that I am forgotten.

I was there with you when it was frantically raining

Maybe not long enough to be with you in the raging storm

Now that you have others to fight the storm with that I am forgotten,

I was with you from dawn to dusk,

I was not there to only sing you a lullaby,

Now when you are comfortably sleeping

Only those who sing you the lullaby are remembered.

I was with you from the very beginning but in the end

I am forgotten

Maybe I was not with you long enough until I am now forgotten.

Patah Tumbuh lenyau Berganti.

 ..              

People said,we can never find the replacement for the thing that we have lost. People also said that, there is no use to cry over what we have lost. Another saying says that we will never value what we have untl we lost it.
But hey, losing anything can never be too bad either. What if losing a thing served as a mean for a new, better and refreshing life? What if losing anything spared us a greater joy? What if losing something provided us with a better perspective of life?
Losing is gaining. That is how I see it. I learn something! And I have lost quite a number of thing. While I CHERISH each TRULY while everything is within grasp, losing anything would not be a matter of regret. I learn and that MATTERS!
This reminded me to another saying that proclaims, if you love something you have to let it go and if it is meant to be yours, it would be coming back to you. This I believed is applicable to everything; broken relationship, love affair etc...

A song dedicate to you...

 This song expresses myself well. You know who you are and yea, if you got to read this, please do a little homework, yea. If you got the chance, go and search for this song by UNGU entitled "LUKA DISINI." .. Listen to each word and try to feel what I felt.

Dulu pernah ada cinta
Dulu pernah ada sayang
Namun kini tiada lagi perasaan seperti dulu
Kini tiada lagi kisah
Cinta ku telah musnah sudah
Hancur hati ku, telah kau sakiti perasaan ku

**
Biarkan ku pergi..
Jangan kau tanyakan lagi..
Ku yakin ini yang terbaik untuk kau dan diri ku

Biarkan berlalu,rasa cinta ini di hati..
Ku tak bisa untuk menahan, aku luka di sini

One of the reasons that I refused to leave home

How can I ever afford to leave my home? Disregard all the 5-star comfort that I enjoy. Forget about the other heavenly privilleges that I am blessed with. To be with my nephew is indeed THE REASON why I am so insistent to be home. His smiles make my heart bounces. His laughter make my day brighter. His cries make my passion intensifies. Greatest joy and true love I found no where else but in them; handsome boy Emmanuel Inggom... 

Make a MOve.....

You are too choosy.. That's what people always told me.. No, I am not. I am left with too little a choice. Who on earth is not intimidated or felt left behind if one after another of his/her friends are settling down? I am now 23 and yes, I am super single. I have been looking around and yes, minutes back I made my bold move. It wasn't too bad though I ended up holding the single title once more. I really don't know if I would ever marry?? At least, I made my first move...

SMILE????

Happiness is what I have been longing for.. 

Am joy-deprived for nearly 3 days already. 

Can hardly stand this pain. I would rather die...

Better don't be the one...

my lil sister who's going to jump into "air sg rajang"hehehe... struggling  find a way out from SPM.hohoho.my words for you here...messekkknya!

I have been trying to peacefully handle a naysayer, a gloomy Gus, a worrywart, a.. mmmm, what else do you call them? Owh yea, a wet blanket, a fusspot, a nag, a complainer and my list may go on and on and on. I personally find a person who is so exaggeratedly unenthusiastic and cynical as PATHETIC and soooooooooo not pitiable. Should I feel sorry for them? You think? Gosh, how I want to smack their heads and blow them a quick, hard punch so that they could at least see light even in the bleakest hours of darkness!

There is hope as long as you are breathing. You have to work for it. If at the very first, critical stage you are already so appallingly negative, you have actually chosen to make it hard for you. Yeah, I understand truly that you have to weigh up every factor before moving on. But, just do not freak out too easily. Hey, everything comes with a risk. It is a kind of a combo that is indivisible. Unless the risk is clearly jeopardizing, no one would advise you to carry on, you see.

And my advice to those who do not have the guts at all to face up the challenge, can you please kindly SHUT YOUR STINKING MOUTH? Spare others who dare to make an effort for a more promising life a moment of peace, ok? Do not corrupt their mind with your senseless conclusion. But, I know it is hard to keep mum since nagging is what you do best.

Stepping ahead is about trying and making things happen. Being confident is difficult but never concedes defeat not until you see the result for yourself. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT LIES AHEAD OF YOU UNLESS YOU GOT THE NERVE TO SEE THE SIGHTS YOURSELF. Keep on trying. Forget your unsuccessful attempts but count on the sweat and the courage and the effort that you have put in. Everything that you do is a moral fiber and will certainly make a very inspirational, triumphant story of your journey. You have no idea how much your attempt would change the life of others. In the end, you may laugh at your spinelessness and almost un-heroic act for so easily accepting defeat at the beginning of your voyage.Anang alah madik!!straight A ....will pray for you..

Fav Or rejecTion

Favoured by few.. It was one of my darkest period of life. Well, ppl change and I change too..I want to make people hapi and I want them to feel warm with my presence.. However smtime, I shd be held responsible for the sudden change in ppl’s mood. My mood swing can be as bad.. I cant blame others if they cd hardly tolerate my emotional well-being. My friends told me tat I cant hide my feelig.. When I am angry, my face wd be reddish and my ears as well. When I am ashamed, my cheeks wd b blushing.. When I feel sad, i wd listen to my mp3 or keep myself a distance from aders.. And of cause, my eyes wd b teary.. And when I am happy, u wd hear me talking joyfully, tickling others and pulling others legs and sharing funny stories..
Please forgive me for being insensitive.. I noe tat I still need others. Yea, by nature, girl is a social creature.. And others do need me too. But, the difference is, when I am troubled, I would prefer to be left alone, ALL BY MYSELF!! When ppl are trying to comfort me, it would make it far more unbearable.. Ironic effect isnt it? While others feel much better with wrds of comfort, I normally wdnt.
Smtimes, I need ppl to respect my privacy and my decision.. It is hard to say yes when deep inside ur heart is screaming NOOOOooo.. Then, as hesitant, unwilling and reluctant as I originally was, I have to drag my feet for an ovbious reason.. Not to hurt others feeling and not to ruin or spoil one’s day.. What about my feeling then?? Who wd be taking care of it?? Then ol I hav to do is to fake my happiness just to c others happy..
HOWEVER, smtimes, to c others happy wd indeed be an immediate remedy. I may, in the end, turn out to be happy too.. In moment like this, I desparetely need to find my happiness in others to make my reluctance turn to enthusiasm..
When I have denied smbody, it hurts me as well to c their unhappy, gloomy, puppy-like faces. I wd then end up to be angry at myself. When the guilt is overwhelming, then I would normally give in.. At the expense of my own happiness?? Stupid or thoughtful?
Every so often, when I hav no choice but to say no, well, I hope that somebody wd be respectful and understanding. But would he or she?? Ppl can’t just be satisfied at ol times.. I do experience rejection now and again. We just cant push smbd towards the edge if he or she refuses to.. There would be no point of doing so for things wdnt be as fun as it ought to be or desired..
Hmmm.. That’s it for tonight.. Strange that I didnt have a concluding paragraph s I usually did. Ta…

WelComE!!

Am trying to make my blog as reader friendly as I could..

So far, this is the best I could. Will be improving on it from time to time..

An apology to everyone for the mess. 

Well, smthing new requires time for familiarisation. Wanna make use of this Avenue to share wat have I gone tru so far. Of coz a bit of emotional conflict, the falls and the risen of Chubbie. Anyway, no new entry.. Just a compilation of my past entries..

In holiday mood.. Well, have fun cherishing my inner sight...

WHAT??

What makes you think I want 

the things you never have?

What about the thing 

that I want?

2012.

Are we really approaching the end of the world? Are we going to witness the destruction of mankind? But, I do feel like I am going to live for another 80 years.. And, 2072, see you...

YOU MAKE ME CRY!!

I thought I would never ever meet such an ungrateful person! I met one, so unfortunately and I am now totally devastated and broken-hearted. After all I have done passionately, this is what I get in return? The last time I cried this bad was at my grandma's funeral. And for even a worse reason, you make me shed my tears. Thank you!!!! I don't know how long will this crap last, but, God know, how much I hate you!!!! No, I don't hate you. But, you pissed me off so bad!!!
Yes, it's true that if the person you care for the most hurt you, you would rather die than dealing with this overwhelming distressing emotion. You have gone too far this time. I can't let this go just at the snap of the finger this time until you seek your forgiveness and admit that you have done wrong. Something sooooooooooooooooooooo wrong that left me stashed in little tiny pieces. I know I am no God and forgiving you may heal and cure my badly-wrecked heart. The damage is done.